I read this quote a while back at Dylana Suarez's blog: "Be your best lover. Someone might see you loving yourself and be jealous."

We've all experienced our own challenges in our own journey called life, but there was a certain period of time in my entering adulthood where I really felt, like almost literally, like all of the hardships I went through around that time were shaping me into something new. With the aim and hope to be transfigured, I mustered every courage to patiently practice the art of inhaling and exhaling my problems away. And it worked. I really felt that with every set of inhale and exhale, my heart grew a little bigger and my soul a little stronger. 

I found that learning to continuously train myself to be open to adversities and to keep my eyes on the prize at the end of the tunnel is a form of loving myself in all possible ways. Even through hardships we don't anchor ourselves down with negativity and hopelessness, but we seize the moment and learn as much as we can as we face whatever the problem throws at us. If we maintain this attitude, problems can only make us grow stronger. And if problems cannot take you down, what else can?

Now I live my life everyday loving myself to the best possible extent. This does not mean I become selfish and consider myself above others, it's simply eliminating self-pity completely and well... being my best lover. It is incredibly fulfilling. You should give it a try.

By the way, I've been drawn to all shades of grey lately and I think the fascination is here to stay!



It's Monday again! Oh what a vicious cycle. But that's what keeps it interesting right? *wink*

So if you've been following my blogging journey, you would most probably have noticed that I gained weight. I used to have very stable body weight, and by "very stable" I meant never-gaining-nor-losing-a-single-kilo-since-junior-high kinda stable. Some of you might now think what an oh-la-la life that must be. Well it had its perks, I must admit. But there were some things I envy from curvy girls too, things that - just like how some of you now think that I'm a bitch for not appreciating - I don't get how curvy girls don't appreciate. Greener grasses, y'all.

But now I've gained some weight and am no longer in the skinny bitches club. I know this for sure because most people have made that comment when they saw me. Now these comments though.. some of them were very hurtful. Don't get me wrong. I do not have any objection when people are blatant and say "Wynne you're fat!" because first, that's a fact, and second, I feel really good with my current figure, I do! I look so much fresher and healthier now, I still celebrate freedom to eat and still eat whatever I want, I have boobs.. I feel sexier than ever! And not just male's perspective kind of sexy, or even not at all. I have always admired female body and all the curves women are blessed with so I completely feel - how do I put this - the kind of sexy that Beyonce write songs about. 

So no, it's not the remarks like that that hurt. What hurts is when the remarks come from a person who perceives fat or curvy as something ugly and undesirable. For example, girls who diet their asses off to maintain their weight.  These girls think fat = ugly (which is why they diet), so when they say you're fat they're essentially saying you're ugly. So these kind of people, consciously or unconsciously, they make such comments to try to bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself, ergo they feel superior. The salt on the wound is when such a mean person is someone really close to you.. like your family member. At this point you'll want to tell me that family would never intentionally try to bring you down. I agree with that theory only to a certain extent, and this comes from a personal experience. So yeah, that hurt.

The point is, sometimes the comments you make say so much more than just its plain meaning. Who you are and what you think about things translate into your remarks so you really have to be careful with what you say. Just remember not to say something that you do not want other people to say to you. It's easy when you have a good heart. 



Growing up, people always think of me as the girl next door. Well, most people at least. The girls who could never leave me alone peacefully in high school certainly do not think that of me, hahaha. But most people apparently do, so I heard. But growing up, I also discovered that my facade might give away the sweet little girl impression, deep down I am not like that. I am goofy. I am kooky. I am weird, just like every other people in this planet. We are created unique. Rather than trying so hard to live up to the society's standards of what is pretty or what is cool, why don't we just embrace every little details that make us who we are?



This morning I thought I'd take my beige jegging out for a ride with a modest color palette and a recently purchased pair of loafers-like mules (which honestly would hurt a little bit after more than three hours but nevertheless are so irresistibly cute).

Hope everyone had a nice Sunday, and if you reside in Indonesia, hope you had a well spent long weekend! I had initially booked leave days application to make the most of this long weekend, but since we didn't have plans up to the last minute Frans and I decided to cancel the application and save our leave entitlements for later down the year. Which is a good idea given our wedding plans and all. In the mean time it's all work work work work work.

The sermon today was insightful. It was about respect for God and others. One of the main points that I'd say Amen out loud to was that we've gotta be respectful even to those who disrespect us. You are responsible for your own reaction, not other people's action. You are responsible for your own action, not other people's reaction. In short, you are responsible for you. In the end, what matters (and what God will ask you) is what did you do.

Anyway, happy Mother's day to all moms out there, including and especially my madre. You are not just one in a million, you are one in seven point four billion! 

Btw, really loving this Snapchat filter!



I like to go for comfortable get-ups these days. Easy blouse and easy pants are gold. These are my latest weekend looks. You can't really see this here but I'm always drawn into baggy or loose clothes more than ever (if you've been following my Instagram you might have noticed this also). At one point a friend asked me "why are you always wearing oversized clothes now?" I just raised my shoulder and smiled. What can I say, it's just how I like to channel my inner child these days... dressing without a care.


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